Waiting for the Parade

Note from the author:  This blog is from the archives.  However, rereading it, I could remember exactly how I felt when I wrote this.  One thing that stands out is how I mentioned walking my dog.  I got a pang of sadness reading this.  Little did I know that only a few days later I would lose my dog.  And my job.  And life as I knew it would radically change.  I thought to myself how I wish I could go back there and take one last walk with my sweet Akeela.  

Life is not always about being happy, but you know, sometimes it is!  Sometimes we ARE eating an ice cream and watching a parade.  Sometimes everything just comes together perfectly.  Sometimes I look at my life and say, “I have happiness!”

Other times we find ourselves surrounded by sadness, and hard times, and pain.  Those are the times I take a deep breath, settle me heart and pray, “Thank you, Lord for all those you have given me that remind me of the grace in which I live…  

…and this unexplainable peace!

…and this unexplainable hope!”  

Sometimes I look at my life and say, “I have joy!”

***

So much of my life is spent waiting.  How many days till my day off?  How many hours till my vacation?  Is it close to Christmas yet?  How many days till Christmas break is over?

I know better.  I grew up with the warning of “Carpe Diem”, but what does that truly mean to someone who struggles with being discontentable?

The other day I was lonely.  I wanted to see a friendly face as I was walking my dog down the street early in the morning, but everything was deserted.  I got an image in my head that I just couldn’t shake.  It was a little boy sitting alone on the curb waiting for the parade to come by, but he was on the wrong street.  He ate his ice cream in anticipation for a joy that, sadly, he was not to receive.  I realized that so often, that little boy is me.

So what’s the solution?  Go out and grab life by the scruff of the neck, right?  Shake it into obedience and make it do your will.  What are you waiting for?  Do it!  Do it now!

I don’t know.  That sounds so tiring.  Plus, like, everyone’s busy right now… or, you know, a little sick of me.

I think that’s it.  I would have more adventures if I could convince people to take me with them.  They keep telling me of all the adventures they’ve had and the craziness of them all and the good times and…and…and…

but now they’re kinda busy.  You know… life.

So I sit on this curb and eat my ice cream and wait.  Wait for the excited friendly face to come running around the corner screaming “Come on!  Come on!  Grab your bag and follow me.  The adventure awaits!”

However, the street is empty.

Only, this street hasn’t always been empty.  Why, just the other day I helped my youngest son with his tricycle catch up to my daughter on her bike as they rounded this very corner.  The July 4th bike parade we were in circled the block to finish at the ice cream truck.  After the ice cream it was off to the beach to swim.  Maybe tonight we’ll shoot off some bottle rockets?  What do you think, kids?  Sound fun?

Sound like an adventure?

So maybe it’s part of my personality to sometimes wait, feeling lonely and alone, for a parade that might never come.  Maybe you think that’s sad.  But have no fear, because every so often I remember something…

… I’m in the parade!