Unacceptable

from the move “The Terminal”

I’m the World’s Greatest Children’s Pastor.  I know this because one of the parents told me that once.  I know for a fact that this individual was a Christian, and Christians are not allowed to lie!  I have no idea how she did her research for this claim, but I’m sure she did a in-depth job in comparison analysis, cross-section interviews, focus groups and fact-checking.  I appreciated the title, but secretly hoped it would also come with an award’s ceremony, fancy banquet, and trophy!  Or at least a mug with the declaration written on the side!  If a parent says it, it must be true, but if a mug says it, there is no room for further argument!

Now, for all the other children’s pastors out there, please don’t feel bad.  It’s not a contest! (which I graciously say for your benefit)  I’m sure the competition for second place rages on.  In addition, I’m sure there are category titles you can grab and of course, honorary mentions!  You can be the “Glitter Queen” or perhaps the “Greatest Wearer of  Funny Costume Beards”.  Keep reaching for the stars!

Maybe one day, you too will get a prestigious mug proclaiming your claim to fame!

There is something that frustrates me, however.  You see, now this mug-worthy champion of the coveted “World’s Greatest Kid’s Pastor” title is actively looking for his next ministry position. Although all logic points to the fact that it should be super-easy for him, its… well…

…it’s not!

Every week it’s phone interviews and rejection letters.  It’s excitement and anticipation followed by deep sighing and in some case, near tears.  It’s holding my breath while waiting for that dream-job to get back to you and then the cold after-wards when that position you just knew was perfect for you in every way lets you know that it just wouldn’t work out.

“It’s not you, it’s me, you understand.”

“No, I’m just joking.  It’s you.”

and…

“Dear whom-it-may concern, we thank you for your vulnerability.  You’re resume is simply amazing and you are awesome in every way!  Unfortunately, we are going to pursue different people that are not you.  Don’t bother asking why.  We do, however, pray for God’s best for you!”

So, lately, I’ve been getting a number of churches who seem committed to praying for God’s best for me!  Now, wait a minute.  I’m not knocking the churches.  It’s tough on them too.  What they are doing is trusting God to find in the multitudes of very qualified people, the specific individual that would not only survive at their church, but thrive!  That’s a tough call.  You’re inviting someone not only to lead their most impressionable members, to implement their most vital vision, but also to join their family to live life together.  That’s a hard call to make from stacks of two page resumes and a series of 20 minute phone calls!

For all of us, it’s an ongoing exercise in the reality of God’s call, His provision and our faith in Him!  This faith can be really tested when you find yourself 10 seconds on the other side of that “thanks anyways” email for that dream job you’ve wanted all your adult life.  You find yourself scrounging your mind to think if there’s any professional way to ask for a second opinion.  You simply wanted to scream out, “I’m sorry, I believe there’s been some kind of mistake.  Don’t you realize I’m the world’s GREATEST Children’s Pastor!!??!!”  It’s being dipped in a vat of humility.  It’s really finding out that God is not just a Santa Clause that will get you whatever you claim that  you deserve.  Faith ain’t always easy!

In addition, I was talking about it with my counselor the other day.  She was sharing how important it was on top of this to be very careful about what job to take, even if it was offered.  We talked about how not only is it the church that needs to find someone that will be able to fit well, but so important for myself and my family to do so also.  It’s not just taking a job… it’s fitting into a new family, and life and the people I’m going to be doing life with.  It’s all the stress of being a professional in a business setting, a Christian leader in a ministry calling, a church member in a spiritual family, an administrator in a fast-paced detailed environment and a teacher in a media-intensive world.  Plus the pay is usually quite low and vacation time minimal.

So how is this even possible, and why would anyone even WANT to do this?????  What sort of job would be worth someone putting their pride out for constant rejection.  What sort of position is worth the vulnerability of their skill, their leadership qualities, and their very person on the constant chopping block of rejection?  What is the motivation for this all?

There is a scene in the movie “The Terminal” that has always haunted me.  In it the Immigration Director (played by the amazing Stanley Tucci) tries to explain to the protagonist (played by the even more amazing Tom Hanks) the incredibly delicate position he has landed himself into.  It would seem that due to a insurrection back in his homeland, Hank’s character can no longer return home.  Likewise, due to the unsettled nature of his government, his travel Visa to the United States has been revoked.  Tucci’s character tries to get this message through that he really has no place that he can go.  He then throws his hands up, palms out in a symbol of rejection and distance and proclaims, “You are at this time….

…simply

…unacceptable”

I feel I know that feeling.  It’s the lie that I so often choose to believe about myself.  It doesn’t matter how many friends tell me not to worry because “God has something even better for you!” or that when “God shuts a door, He opens a window” (which I always wondered why does God have me climbing through windows?).  It doesn’t matter that the book of Ephesians leads us in a prayer to a God that is “able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine…”  When we feel unacceptable, and when we believe that about ourselves, we can find ourselves in a hopeless, desolate land.

So why do we not succumb to this feeling and simply give up?  It seems to be coming at us from the outside, and the inside simultaneously.   Why do we put ourselves through this long dark night of the soul???

Well, let me tell you…

We do it because it is who we are.  Job or no job, mug or no mug, wonderful position with great benefits, friends and paid vacation time or rejection letter after rejection letter, we do it because it’s what we were called to do.  It’s what we LOVE to do!

I was reading a note I had posted over six years ago this very week.  I read it and I wept all these years later in the same way I did when I wrote it.   The memory is still as potent.  Let me share it here…

Today we had our annual SuperSaturday Christmas party and present give-away. It was a major event where we gave 400 needy kids presents, giveaways, pizza, bounce castles, etc. etc. etc.

On my way there, I was detoured due to a mess of red and blue lights….”Must have been an accident” I thought… “or a robbery”… It’s a very bad part of town.

It was only later, during the event, when one of my workers came to me and told me how the girl, Samantha – one of my favorites, had just lost her older brother and his girlfriend. JUST lost him. And here she was at the party. She didn’t know what to do. She was in tears. That accident I had passed less than 2 hours before had been her brother. 

Samantha is a sweetheart with a hard life. She’s one of the few kids that says “Thank you” every-time with out being prodded. She constantly gets straight A’s. She’s quiet and shy and a slight breeze could knock her over, and she’s been through hell: abuse, neglect, you name it.

And now this…. When the bus came for her, her mother was beside herself. “Just take her” she said. Of course, they are all in shock.

And so there she was, standing alone in the middle of a big field less than a week before Christmas. Kid’s running and laughing and skipping all around her. She looks over at me and starts to cry. She’s lost.

What do you say at a time like that? What training have you received to make all the bad go away? What sort of prayer will fix that?

All I could do is go over and give her a hug. I was as lost as she.

Of course, we gave her her presents and I had some of the ladies spend time with her and take her home. Yes we will have follow up and yes we will pray hard but when your heartbroken like that, the only path ahead of you is unspeakably horrific.

I don’t know about you, but this Christmas, I’m going to hug my kids extra tight and thank God that He is good. Please remember Samantha in your prayers, will you? God Bless and Merry Christmas!

That is why we do this.   Samantha is why we do this.  We do this because we have a God that can do immeasurably more than we can think or imagine (and I spend a LOT of time doing some BIG thinking and imagining!).  We do this because the idea of doing something else just simply is unacceptable.  Job, or no job.  Rejection letter after rejection letter.  Mug or no mug.  I will do it because I am called to do it.  I will do it because I LOVE to do it. I do it because I never have to do it alone…

…And that, I find very acceptable.