The Accident

I am a Children’s Pastor!

That’s a positive, confirming statement. It makes a claim not only about a job, but a mission. Not only a mission, but a calling. Not only a calling, but a deep foundation that describes my passion, my skill, my heart, and my soul.

The only thing is… it’s not entirely true.

You see, I used to be a Missionary.

Well, that’s not really true either. I never moved to the mission field. Oh sure, I took dozens of short-term trips. I spent years trying to raise support. I got all of my ducks in a row, but never actually made it to the mission field. In fact, to some I have a nickname… “Never-Be-a-Missionary”. How does one get a nickname like this? Let me tell you…

… by accident.

So here’s the story.

All my life I wanted to be a missionary. I wanted to go to Bible College and get into ministry and go spend the rest of my life off in some forgotten field doing the work of God. While other’s heroes were Superman, or Guns N’ Roses or Michael Jordan, I was off reading biographies of Hudson Taylor, and C.T. Studd and Jim Elliot. I had one dream…

 “To win for the Lamb the reward of His suffering.”

It wasn’t just my desire, it was my passion. My summers in High School were spent doing short-term missions, as were my spring breaks. After High School, I immediately attended Bible College with only one intention. While most of my classmates took Pastoral Ministry, or Worship Ministry, or Youth, it was only myself and two others in my year that knew the Missions Ministry track was the one for us.

After graduation, I knew I needed more training. I decided that a Master’s degree in Education would open the doors to countries that standard missionaries might not be allowed through. It was brilliant strategy. So off I went.

Along the way I had ended relationships due to one fact… they weren’t called to the mission field. How could I drag a wife to such a harsh life if she wasn’t excited to go? So I prepared myself for a lonely life as long as I could at least be qualified to go. I had one purpose….

“To win for the Lamb the reward of His suffering.”

Only, I didn’t have to. I met this beautiful girl and she too was willing to go wherever the Lord would have her. So we married and then took a year to travel in a theater company.

Ok, sounds like a deviation, but hang on. The theater company toured sharing the story of my hero, Jim Elliot and a few more heroes of mine who gave their lives as…

… you guessed it…..

…Missionaries!

So there we were. “Lord, send US!”   Put us in, coach! We’re ready!

Only, not quite. Ok, it was time we learned how to do real ministry. I had some experience leading youth and there was a church plant that needed a volunteer youth leader. Here’s the plan: We’ll do ministry for a few years, work up a support base and then it’s off to be Jesus’ hands and feet to a needy world. Great plan!

Except one thing… the church we volunteered at had no youth.   What they DID have though were kids. LOTS of kids

Lots of kids, but no kid’s leader.

“So Kevin, do you think you can help out with the kids for a few weeks until we find someone else? Three weeks. A month tops.”

I’ve often thought about starting a blog entitled “Lies Christians Tell”!

Last I checked, those three weeks stretched into fifteen years. To be honest, if I had my way, they would stretch for another fifty! Someone once asked me when God called me to Children’s Ministry. I had to think about it, and finally responded,

“About six months after I started.”

Isn’t that the way life goes? Oh, and I never made it to the mission field. Well, not in the way I expected anyways. Not from lack of trying, you understand. I spent years trying to raise the money, and get things in order, but it was always like sand through my hands. The more I tried the more would slip through my fingers. It was a harsh time. A challenge. It was my long, dark night of the soul.

NEVER, NEVER regret those long, dark nights! I am convinced that they, more than any other times, will change your soul! It’s through that broken heart that the voice of the Lord is the most clear…

“Tell me, Kevin… what’s more important to you? That you be a missionary or that you simply be my child?”

So I became a Children’s Pastor. And LOVED IT! Turns out, everything I’ve ever done was to prepare for this one calling. My work on the mission field in High School? I was working with kids, learning how to best reach them through play and love. My time at Elim? I was learning how to be an ambassador for Christ to whatever group I was called to. My Master’s degree? How could I not see it then? I was specializing in the process that a growing child’s mind develops in the midst of character-driven experiences. My theater training gave me the means, my creativity gave me the vehicle, my compassion gave me the drive. My call, it seems was being formed every step of the way until finally one day, I was ready.

I am a Children’s Pastor!

That is what… I… AM!

Only one small detail….

…actually, I’m not.

Is a Children’s Pastor one because of a calling, or because of a job? Right now, I have no job. At best, I’m a Kid’s Pastor that is in limbo, waiting for my next assignment maybe? Waiting for my next mission, maybe? But what if that never comes? I get job rejections every day. Don’t they know who I am?

I AM A CHILDREN’S PASTOR!!!!!!!

But am I?

“Lord, I don’t get it. It’s my dream and my passion. It’s who I AM! Why am I here? Do you even love me anymore?”

…and then in the darkness before the light of dawn, when man’s heart is the most fragile and the most broken, He finally responds….

“Tell me, Kevin… what’s more important to you? That you be a children’s pastor or that you simply be my child?”

#BibleCollege #JimElliot #themissionfield